Blame, Pain and Shame

I am reading both Positive Discipline and Positive Discipline for Teeneagers. Why oh why did it take me so long to find this book? Apparently, it has been in print for more than 25 years.

This sounds like a lot of hard work, but it fits better than anything I've ever read before. I could probably wallpaper my house with the parenting books I've read over the years. There have been "godly" ones, punitive ones, unconditional ones, loving ones, logical ones, and shallow ones. Most of them made me a little squeamish at some point.

The main premise of this method, as far as I can tell, is to maintain dignity and respect for both parent and child. I'm not quite sure I believe that is entirely possible, but it's too promising not to attempt. Discipline is not about 'blame, pain and shame'; but about teaching life lessons. Making kids feel bad is not only unnecessary, but counterproductive to the learning process. Where have I been? Scared, that's where. I've fallen into parenting from fear instead of love. I admit it. Breaking the cycle isn't as easy as it seems, either. More on this later...